Many years ago, while the wife and I were waiting for a table in an airport restaurant while waiting for a plane that would eventually take us somewhere, we witnessed a young woman drinking at the restaurant’s bar with a baby strapped to her chest via one of those Baby Bjorn contraptions. A white linen napkin was draped across the baby’s head while she smoke, drank, and exasperatedly remarked to the patron sitting next to her:
“I just want the crying to stop”
It was one of the funniest scenes the wife and I had, to that point in our young relationship, ever experienced together. We still quote that worn-out mom’s zinger whenever our own children whine or cry, with or without a napkin atop them.
Fast forward many years and there are times, and this afternoon was one of them, when I just want the laughing to stop. When I just want the giggly talking to stop. When I just want time to stop.
I spend countless hours with my kids. This is, after all, one of, if not thee main advantage of the at-home portion of the stay-at-home dad lifestyle choice. But not all of those hours are filled with smiles, even when they are filled with smiles. Strange, I know.
This afternoon was not extraordinary, not in the least: school pick-up, then a quick stop at the dance store to buy tan tights, hair pins, and a hair net for the Bear’s first ever dance recital, the dress rehearsal of which is tomorrow evening. There was a wicked dark cloud looming overhead, just lingering up there like a lost, frightened tabby cat. Otherwise, today was just another weekday. Getting out of the car, walking across the parking lot, up onto the sidewalk, into the shop, and then all of that in reverse was a chuckle fest for the girls, with them holding hands and traipsing through the mulched parking lot garden-cum-dividers, acting goofy, and being relatively loud. It all drove me nuts.
That such carefree joy from my own daughters made me scream out on the inside is pretty screwed up. But that’s the story and I’m sticking to it.
This post was written quickly, as part of the Just Write exercise in free writing. This is the first time I’m trying this. I think I liked it. You?
6 Comments