Rickety knees have relegated the scaling of tall buildings to fantasyland for me; leaping those same skyscrapers in a single bound, what with that degenerative lower back and all, is, at this point in life, an even worse idea.
I may not have actual superpowers like Elastigirl, or even in the traditional comic book sense of the word, but as a stay-at-home dad I’ve developed a certain set of incredible skills — hereby referred to as my real life “superpowers” — that make life more incredible for my wife and kids. I asked them what they think my super powers are and here’s what they said.
My Three Incredible Stay-At-Home Dad Superpowers
FINDER OF LOST THINGS THAT HAVE GONE MISSING!
After the lay person search and rescue crew have rummaged through drawers, flipped through the folded laundry not yet put away, dug beneath piles of toys, games, and stuffed animals, and flipped over seat cushions with no luck, I enter to save the day with minimal fuss and no fanfare needed. This incredible superhero dad, this finder of lost things that have gone missing, swiftly scans his surroundings, assesses the situation in the blink of an eye, asks probing questions of key witnesses to ascertain the likely culprit, and BAM! he pulls the missing cellphone out of the wreckage of last night’s sleepover birthday party.
MAKER OF FRESH BREAKFASTS WHEN IT SEEMS AS THOUGH TIME HAS RUN OUT!
The countdown clock is ticking loudly as the sun rises on a frantic race to pull on socks, pack flutes, and finish homework assignments that were ‘forgotten’ the night prior. Meanwhile, in the kitchen, all is quiet save for the gentle clink of metal frying pans, the slicing of aluminum foil, and the soft crack of free range eggs as this incredible dad, this maker of fresh breakfasts when it seems as though time has run out, calmly turns on the stovetop, pulls two brown eggs from the fridge, and sets out two squares of tin foil. He’s making a fresh hot breakfast from scratch with only 180 seconds to spare! Will our hero finish the egg & cheese sandwiches and get the girls to school on time??? Of course he will, of course. He always does. He is incredible after all.
INCREDIBLE LAUNDRYDAD
Her favorite piece of clothing — her one and only school hoodie — got mud all over the back and on one of the sleeves during the mile run in gym today. Fear not, 5th grader, for your clothes will be washed, dried, folded and ready for you to wear again tomorrow, all before it’s even bedtime tonight! There’s no pile of laundry, and no stain known to man, that Incredible Laundrydad cannot conquer…and quickly.
I know that you – yes, you dad! – are incredible, too. When all the lost things are found, breakfasts are made, your home is clean, clothes are stain-free and the surfaces disinfected, time at home is even more incredible. So I think its time we acknowledge our greatness and share it with the world! Enter the Disney Pixar and Clorox Incredibles 2 Sweepstakes to show everyone just how incredible a clean home can be. Here are the details on how to enter and what you’ll win!
Visit Disney.com/bigcitysweeps to enter a Disney Pixar and Clorox sweepstakes to win a trip to NYC to see the coolest sights in the city and go on a super shopping spree at The Disney Store in Times Square. 25 first prize winners will receive an Incredibles 2 Clorox prize pack. You can enter online every day or text the word “BIGCITY” to 347639! Message and data charges may apply.
Cleaning is the beginning. What comes next is Incredible.
OWTK has partnered with Clorox for this story. All opinions expressed above are honest and unbiased, as always. I really am incredible and I swear my wife and daughters agree.
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