Parenting Blog

The At-Home Dad Chronicles: Solicitors

In most every conceivable way, ’tis better to spend one’s weekdays at home than at a job.

There is, however, one class of people who conspire to make the above statement false.  The evil, pamphlet pushing, sales talking, won’t take no for an answer clan known as solicitors.

This afternoon, while I ate lunch and listened to a podcast – otherwise known as minding my own damn business – there was a knock on the front door. It was a guy from US Beef.  I kid you not.  Only Wile E. Coyote’s favorite mail order supplier Acme Corporation ranks as a more generic name.  Anyway, seems it’s the end of this fella’s week (it is Monday, mind you. What kind of ass-backwards calendar is he operating under?) and he was just-a-wonderin’ if I’d like to buy some of his meat. Real cheap. And if you know one thing about me, it’s that I’ve got a soft spot for real cheap meat. $3 strip steaks? All take ’em all!

I kid, of course. Cheap meat reminds me of two things, and A Bargain ain’t one of ’em: E. Coli headlines IS one of them, and so is the still confusing to me, foot and mouth disease.

Take your $3 beef and get the hell off my lawn.

The upside of this scenario?  I got to say out loud the sentence “No thank you, I don’t want your meat”.

I revise my previous remark, it is always better to be at home.

*No soliciting / No exceptions sign available here.
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