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A Good & Honest Cleaning

This post is brought to you by Mott’s and The Motherhood. All opinions are my own.

Motts Good and Honest campaign_group_four

I mean, who really has time for a shower these days? Amirite, ladies?!


In a pinch, we dads know a damp washcloth and a dab of shower gel tidies up most all the stinky parts. Oh yeah, that’s what we still call ’em ’round here: arm pits, feet, bums, backs of necks hiding beneath flowing locks — stinky parts, all, and forever.

Are these parts clean in a textbook definition sense? Well, no, not exactly, but there are times in the life of a harried parent when ‘passable’ is perfect. That’s an unquestioned parenting truth — I cite the 5-second rule as evidence.

When you’ve forgotten to remind your kids, who’ve forgotten hours earlier because they had a can’t-miss-morning-appointment to destroy the play room, to shower-up before the annual Easter egg hunt at Mom mom and Pop pop’s house, and you’ve now got to be in the car within 15 minutes in order to be on time, and because punctuality is more important to you than being technically clean: it’s damp wash cloth cleaning time as you teach your youngins to ‘shower’ in a few blinks of an eye, on the way out the door. Passing on life-hacks that will pay dividends for decades, just one of the many services I provide.

If being a dad for 11+ years has taught me anything at all it’s that you’ve got to be quick on your feet, your stinky feet, as they were, because things are going to go haywire at unexpected times and how you handle yourself and your kids in those moments will go a long way to defining you as a parent…and determining just how much therapy your kids are going to need in a couple of decades time. Those sessions don’t come cheap, so stay sharp.

Having a sick kid vomit on your face at 2am? Check.

Helping your 5 year old girl pee standing up along a bike path because she couldn’t get her pants down far enough and fast enough to squat behind a bush? Check.

Use a 1:2 egg:milk ratio to make a cheesy scramble for breakfast because you dropped the new dozen on the driveway while unloading the car from the grocery store? Check.

You know what else a great dad does in a pinch? He’ll take a hammer to a few apples and then slurp up the sprayed juice with straws alongside his youngest daughter, because he didn’t buy a new bottle even though it was on his list. Nah, that’s totally gross. For real, I just make sure there’s always a 6-pack of Mott’s Apple Juice in the pantry, in a “Break Glass In Case of Emergency” case. My mouse and I NEED our apple juice. This is non-negotiable.

Whether it’s an emergency supply of Mott’s Apple Juice, a pouch of Mott’s Applesauce in your glove compartment for a mid-drive hungry kid situation, or a damp wash cloth to get clean-ish in a flash, you’ve gotta be ready for anything as a dad. So next time you don’t just go ‘off script’ but ‘oh crap the script is on fire,’ remember that you’ve got this, pop. And when the ash from that fire settles and cools, you’ll have a few rad new anecdotes for your growing story collection.

In the spirit of Mott’s Good & Honest campaign, please share your own story of an improvised parenting & family moment for a shot at winning a $50 gift card and some tasty Mott’s products. Please tell your mini-tale here in the comments before April 17th and for extra entries, do social things with the hashtags #GoodandHonest and #Motts.

Thanks and good luck!

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  1. Mary Happymommy says:

    When my kids were smaller they didn’t want to try fish so we used to tell them it was “special chicken”. It worked.

  2. My son hated spinach, but he would eat “green eggs and ham” made with spinach

  3. nicole dziedzic says:

    My kids don’t like there veggies at all, so when I cook I hide them in the food, and if they notice & ask me what it is I tell them it is a special ingredient that comes from magic beans, that helps your body produce super growing powers so that you grow up faster. It work for them.

  4. Amanda Sakovitz says:

    I got my niece to take some of her yucky medicine after I secretly mixed it into some applesauce

  5. To get kids to eat broccoli, we tell them it is a must if they are going to run faster in the next soccer game. And there is always a next game, this works like a charm in our house.

  6. steve weber says:

    I got my niece and nephew to go to bed and STAY in bed with a little bribing and blackmail 🙂

  7. I’ve forgotten the wipes at home when going out to the grocery store, and had a dirty diaper to change. I wet a few paper towels in the bathroom and used those instead!

  8. My kids never wanted to eat cooked peas or carrots so when I made pasty’s, I would cook the veggies first them blend them in with the gravy that they never knew they were eating veggies.

  9. Julie Wood says:

    My son was scared of monsters when he was young and had bad dreams. I took a spray bottle and put on monster stickers on it and called it Monster spray, and before bed I would spray all over the bedroom and say I sprayed the monsters away! This really helped!

  10. Bridgett Wilbur says:

    My kids hated eating tomatoes until I told them that’s what makes pizza sauce now they love them…

  11. Heather Hayes Panjon says:

    The Kids Hate Cleaning Their Room’s So One Day I Made It Fun With Music, Dancing… It Was A Success!

  12. Dawn Monroe says:

    I fell asleep waiting on the tooth fairy so we made it into a two day event. She loved it!

  13. Betsy Barnes says:

    When our son was in kindergarden, one of his friends told him there was no Santa. We bought a real cool Santa suit and hubby dressed up. We had a playdate with a few of his friends, including the one that told our son. Hubby walked around outside, peeking in the windows until they noticed. It was an eye opening experience, all the kids were convinced.

  14. My best improvised moment was when I made my kids race each other to help me clean when we had company dropping by.

  15. My youngest daughter would never want to brush her teeth so we started playing music and made it into a fun, dance party of a time. She started actively looking forward to it every morning and night so she could play her music in the bathroom and dance around with Mommy and/or Daddy.

  16. My daughter used to get a lot of ear infections when she was younger. To get her to take the liquid medicine, I had to mix it with chocolate syrup and put that on top of vanilla ice cream. She thought it was great that she got to eat ice cream, and I got her medicine in her. Win-win!

  17. My daughter accidentally spilled permanent paint on our hardwood floor. Instead of getting mad, I bought a beautiful rug to cover it up and it looks better than before.

  18. Jessica Beard says:

    My Good and Honest parenting moment comes when I accidentally forgot to pack a snack for my son (I had everything else in the diaper bag.) Thank goodness a Mott’s applesauce pouch was found in my purse! My son gobbled it down.

  19. shelly peterson says:

    None of my kids enjoyed taking medicine so I always had to disguise it any way possible. I usually mixed it in with something,it worked mot of the time.

  20. My son doesn’t like to eat meat, but he will eat turkey or chicken if we don’t call it meat.

  21. Jessica To says:

    One of the best ways I got my son to eat different things was when my nephews came to visit. My son loved doing things like them so he would try anything they ate!

  22. James Robert says:

    My kids tell me they do not like pork so I put in scalloped potatoes and tell them it is chicken

  23. My kids would never drink water- I would literally force them so I started adding a bunch of fruit and now they always want their special “drink” and they even eat the fruit,too. Score!

  24. When my son does not want to take his medicine, I try to buy the medicine in blue for leonardo from tmnt and tell him to take his Leo medicine so he can be strong and save the world from bad guys.

  25. I have had many #goodandhonest parenting moments in the kitchen when we bake something together. There is always a problem with messes and with sharing but with patience and understanding, we always have a good time.

  26. When one of my sons was around 5, he went through a phase where he wanted to wear a certain t-shirt every single day. We had a fancy event and he insisted on wearing the t-shirt even though it was not appropriate at all so rather than get all stressed out, I let him wear it over a button down collar shirt and it was a good conversation piece at the event. No one really cared, it didn’t really matter and he was happy.

  27. Leigh Anne Borders says:

    I am always getting caught up in the tooth fairy craziness! I always forget and find myself having to reinvent the wheel it seems to get out of it!

  28. Oh one that we did recently was we were visiting my sister, and it started snowing. The kids wanted to go outside and play, but we didnt have his boots along and they didnt have extras. So, we put some adult socks over his shoes…and then put grocery plastic bags over his feet and tucked them in the layers of socks. Worked like a charm!

  29. Jennifer Marie says:

    We would tell my son that eggs were “super cheese” because he loved cheese. He ate the eggs if we told him that.

  30. Dana Cerrito says:

    When my kids were little I would bribe them to try new foods. If they liked it I didnt pay. Let’s just say I never had to pay a dime.

  31. Tabathia B says:

    I add my daughter’s liquid medication to orange juice and sometimes dissolve tablets in oj for my other daughter

  32. The day we woke up at 6:45 am and had to get on the bus to go to school at 7 am I was all about the improv. No shower, but 3 minutes for dressing, 5 minutes for eating, 2 minutes for teeth brushing and 3 minutes for making breakfast/lunch managed to give us enough time to get to the bus stop before the bus did. Lunch was a number of pre-packaged goodies that i had bought thinking they might be time saving, but never imagining they would be needed with such vigor.

  33. I am a good and honest mom. Well sort of, I sneak vegetables into other food and they don’t even notice. Carrots in spaghetti sauce, zucchini and squash in their spaghetti noodles. One day they are going to catch me but for now it works.

  34. When my son spilled on his shirt, I made him wear it inside out.

  35. I’ve learned that with kids, you simply can not keep a clean house all the time. Kids make messes and sometimes making messes with them like finger painting or cooking can make some great memories.

  36. fruit and veggies mixed into their favorite shake

  37. I have placed medication in a milkshake and yogurt before in order to get kids to take their medication!

  38. Emily Smith says:

    I tell my kids that the tv won’t turn on before 11am. That way it won’t distract them from getting ready for school.

  39. Barbara Montag says:

    I puree vegetables and add them to soup.
    The kids are really fussy about veggies.
    So I sneak them in this way.
    thank you

  40. Sarah Hayes says:

    I mix yummy veggies in with my LOs other food so she will get more nutrients

  41. Hillary Steiner says:

    Picnic dinners in the back of the car in the parking lot before gymnastics!

  42. Stephanie Grant says:

    My son was having to play one of his basketball games on his birthday this year so we were unable to have an “official” birthday party and invite his friends from his class and he was so upset so I talked with his coaches and we gave him a small little surprise party with his teammates after his game.

  43. I once forgot to remove a price tag on a Christmas present of my daughter’s. I told her that Santa had ran out of that toy and had to buy her one instead of it coming from the elves.

  44. Thomas Murphy says:

    When I got my son to take his medicine by mixing it in with ice cream.

  45. courtney b says:

    my kids would never eat veggies so I could smash up like a cucumber and put it in the meat we would eat at night lol they still won’t eat anything green!!!

  46. potty traning!

  47. Ellie Wright says:

    When my little guy started kindergarten and couldn’t tell time yet. He would ask me how many hours he had to stay there. i would tell him 3 when it was really 7. He believed me but thought 3 hours lasted a looong time.

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