The Songs and Stains of Our Lives

For a long while now I’ve been fond of saying, when speaking lovingly about the golden age of family music, that the reason the current generation of all-ages, kindie, family, children’s music is so flipping fantastic is that the songs being written, recorded and released are not all freshly baked cookies and glitter glue because, of course, childhood is not all cupcakes and glitter glue.

If it were, we’d spend all of our precious time scrubbing melted chocolate chips and glue residue out of our kids’ clothes with Clorox 2® Pre-Treat Stain Remover Pens.

There are burnt-to-a-crisp cookies and hardened glue sticks too (because the toddler forgot to put the cap back on, obviously), and the very best songwriters and performers not only understand that childhood is a full spectrum of emotions, they also honor that very diversity of youthful experience in song.

Here then are songs for many of the moments experienced during a regular*, normal*, every-child* childhood. Not ALL of the moments of course but a lot of them; some happy, some sad, some hilarious, some not, some clean, some messy.

The Songs and Stains of Our Lives

For when your dad explains why Jar Jar Binks is not to be discussed in the house and you figure out that to sneak in a viewing of the 2nd Star Wars trilogy, it’s going to have to be at a friend’s house:

Board of Education “Why Is Dad So Mad”

For when that damn balloon from the county fair only wants to get away:

Lunch Money “It Only Take One Night To Make A Balloon Your Friend”

For when a dream snow day turns into a dreaded 2-hour delay:

Josh & the Jamtones “Snow Day”

For when you decide you just have to tape it up because it’s due, for when you’re absolutety, 100% DONE with the science fair…until next year:

The Not-Its “Done With The Science Fair”

For when your parents threaten to ship you off to live with your troll family dopplegangers:

Key Wilde & Mr. Clarke “Raised by Trolls”

For when your toddler’s made up words trump all of the real ones:

Lucky Diaz & the Family Jam Ban “Thingamajig”

For when Barbie is throwing it down at her Malibu Beach House, everyone is invited (even The Human Torch) and parking for the Millenium Falcon is available on the front lawn:

Lunch Money & Secret Agent 23 Skidoo “Come Over To My Dollhouse”

For when your son invades your daughter’s dress-up box:

Mo Phillips “The Princess and the Cowboy”

For when you’re confused at the changes happening to your mind and body, and think that you might just be losing your god damn mind:

Chibi Kodama “Going Crazy”

For when you suddenly realize you’re related to your mom, dad, uncle, grandpop and sister…and that everyone can tell:

Walter Martin “Hey Sister”

For when you take your shiny new plastic superhero Big Wheel out for its first spin:

The Pop Ups “Big Wheel”

For when your best friend moves away, and it crushes you:

The Jellydots “Remember Me”

For when you are camping for the first time ever, and you are getting bit by mosquitoes, and you’re hot and sticky and miserable that your grown-ups are making you sleep outside…then the sun says goodnight and you look up at the sky and understand why people do this:

Okee Dokee Brothers “Thousand Star Hotel”

For when you are fitted for plaster for the first time and are suddenly armed with markers, from the guy who has beautifully captured more iconic moments of childhood in more songs than anyone in the world:

Justin Roberts “Sign My Cast”

For when you decide once and for all that there’s no one else in the world you’d rather be than yourself:

Secret Agent 23 Skidoo “Gotta Be Me”

For when you encounter your first elementary school bully and you come to learn that a sharp wit is often the sharpest weapon:

Randy Kaplan “Been Old Wagon”

For when you imagine what your brown paper lunch bag is doing all day while you are on your field trip at the museum. And for when you dribble your lunch down your favorite shirt far away on a field trip.

Recess Monkey “Haven’t Got a Pet Yet”

For when you miss your grandmom so much and ache to meet her halfway for a slumber party and for her to dazzle you with her knowledge of everything you want to learn:

Frances England “Fast Train To Grandma’s”

For when you’ve grown out of snuggling with your favorite stuffed animal:

Sugar Free Allstars “Ready To Give Up Teddy”

For when you’ve lost your best pair of socks, your most comfortable shirt was shrunk in the dryer, or the knit hat your grandmother made no longer fits on your head:

Gustafer Yellowgold “Panther Stamp Pants”

For when you misread the situation completely on Valentine’s Day in your 4th grade classroom and you begin, right there and then, to learn that the way you see the world isn’t necessarily the way everyone else sees it, and you grow up a little bit and become a better person as a result:

Bill Harley “Monster Valentine”

For when you understand that “there’s no place like home” isn’t just a famous line from a famous movie, that it is the truth:

David Tobocman “Home”

For when you FINALLY get what the silent E does to the preceding vowel!:

The Bazillions “Silent E”

For when you get a little bit older, when the world ceases to revolve around you solely, and when you can step back and see all that your mom and/or dad had sacrificed for you to give you a beautiful, long, memorable childhood:

Vered “Something Other Than A Mom”

For when you begin to wish that the love, joy, and wonder of Christmas morning lasted longer than the time in takes to yank off the ribbon and tear open paper:

Billy Kelly “Let’s Make Christmas Last”

For when there truly is GLITTER everywhere!!

The Pop Ups “Glitter Everywhere”

For when you need to figure out in a hurry that we all belong here:
Woody Guthrie (and many others who have followed, including but not limited to Sharon Jones, Alastair Moock, Bruce Springsteen, and My Morning Jacket)

“This Land Is Your Land”

Discover even more songs of childhood on the OWTK Kid’s Music Monthly Podcast.

No matter if your child gets their socks and pant cuffs dirty while riding their big wheel, if you discover that you’ve had baby vomit on your shirt shoulder while trying to be something other than a mom out in public, or if your teenager’s sack lunch dribbled down their favorite t-shirt during a field trip, Clorox is always there for you to make everything perfect again throughout the glitter, glue and cupcakes of childhood.

*OWTK is a Clorox CLXChampion receiving financial compensation for this and other stories. All opinions expressed above are honest and unbiased, as always.