I’ve not yet been the father of girls ages 7 and 10, or daughters 12 and 15. And I cannot pretend to know how stressful and/or fulfilling having college-aged kids will be. I can only know what I have known, and what I know leads me to declare 5 and 8 the greatest ages in parenting.
The Mouse is now beyond 5 1/2 and her older sister is just about one month away from turning 9. Their spread in ages is a touch over 3 years and in my not-at-all extensive research (I’ve spoken to a handful of parents with just two children, and those who are equally as far removed from each other,) this is the sweet spot for siblings to be close to each other in age so as to still enjoy playing together for hours on end, but independent enough in their likes and in their circle of friends to also happily spend time apart. That is point number one.
The second is no less important. With the youngest being of kindergarten age, they are, at 5 and 8, both independent around the home — pouring bowls of cereal, wiping their own asses, reading themselves to bed — yet still dependent too, providing me and the Mrs. with the thrill of still being needed in that young child/new parent way. This is bitter sweet, because we know that this manner of dependency won’t last too much longer, but it is present and it is as beautiful as ever.
At ages 5 and 8 they still love and look up to us but are forming their own identities. Their personalized paths are becoming more and more visible beneath their rainbow sequenced flats, mismatches socks, and bizarro hair accessories. They like boys, but not in that way. They are sweet, but also absurd. And it is scary, all this, because it does fade and with that closing of one chapter comes new experiences to be enthusiastic about and to fear, but I cannot know those things yet. I know now, and I am in love with now.
They are amazing, my girls at ages 5 and 8, and I love them at this exact moment in time more than I ever have, but hopefully not more than I ever will.
*An updated & revised version of this post was also published on The Huffington Post.
