Random Toddlering

I Have Three Wives

The Bear is really into getting married. Her beau? That’d be me. The ceremonies (that’s plural as we renew our vows most every night) are brief affairs without the fanfare of most modern weddings. She will be dressed in a leotard, tutu, tiara, feather boa, plastic dress up shoes, and quite possibly 4 to 6 necklaces (sort of a 3ft female version of a gay Mr. T). I throw on a suit jacket and a tie over top of a t-shirt and one of The Mrs’ cool way-too-small-for-my-head hats. It’s quite a scene. The Justice of the Peace changes nightly, sometimes it is our plush Gustafer Yellowgold, sometimes it’s a piece of American cheese but most recently it was the Mouse. The Mrs. worked her lil’ jelly arms like a master puppeteer as she hysterically pointed and waved for us to say “I Do” and then kiss.

After the wedding, we dance! I spin the Bear and tilt her backwards and we kinda do a bastardized version of the Charleston.

Right after marriage #1 last night, I learned there was an arranged union between myself and the Mouse so we wed in another quickie ceremony. Between you and me, that makes a total of three wives…just don’t alert the authorities or Elliot Spitzer.

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