Parenting Blog

My Mother’s Son And The Mustard Stain

Clorox MyStain App Screenshot Basketball Jersey

It’s no secret that I’m my mother’s son. I embrace, never run from, the comparison made by those who know us both and I believe wholeheartedly that my dialed down version of her obsessive cleaning and homemaking self is a perfectly swell formula for an agreeable balance of order and sanity within my house.

My wife’s sanity has always been in doubt because she says she fell in love with me after only two weeks of dating when she observed me folding the side creases of Christmas wrapping paper around a rectangular shirt box with the delicacy of a surgeon. She didn’t know it way back then in my apartment, but would later come to learn that I know that the most effective way to dry freshly washed curtains is to hang them still damp and she still thinks my propensity for vacuuming my way out of rooms to preserve the clean lines is hella cute. I am who I am because of my mom and while I wouldn’t trade it for the world there is a kryptonite to my homemaking superness: stains. I…I just don’t know what to do short of throwing the shirt, pants, socks, dress, whatever away and buying a new, stainless version.

Yeah, I too have one of those Clorox Stain Fighter Pens stashed in the glove box but I’m still the first one to Google ‘How Do I Clean Mustard Off My Clothes” when the Cuban sandwich I shouldn’t have been eating in the car decides to get a little too cozy with my favorite hoodie. Those kinds of searches result in a ton of clickbait ‘How To’ articles and countless videos I don’t have the inclination to scroll though or watch, because I’m still munching on my Cuban, ya know?

Clorox MyStain App Screenshot OPening image

That hyper-specific (and very real) example of my own personal mess-making capabilities is just one reason the newly re-launched Clorox MyStain app is so freaking genius. I get the deets on the stain removal plan of action in just two clicks and it’s back to my delicious lunch. Your use for the app may differ:

Okay, so your kid gets grass all over the fancy dress you very clearly stated, for the record and with witnesses, that she was N-O-T not allowed to play in outside before leaving for grandmom’s house.

Clorox MyStain App Screenshot Grass Stain

Okay, so your spouse lets melty chocolate drip down onto their jeans from the fondue you spontaneously prepared to go with the cake you spontaneously baked during Snowmageddon 2016 because you are an incredibly wonderful husband and father.

Clorox MyStain App Screenshot Chocolate Stain

Okay, so the soy sauce packet at the bonkers-great Chinese food place around the corner decided to be a miserable grouch while you tried to carefully open it causing some of the salty dark goodness to land on the sleeve of that sweet new collard shirt you got for Christmas.

Clorox MyStain App Screenshot Soy Sauce

No worries at all, mate.

The MyStain app from Clorox would have you covered in every single instance and dozens more too – stickers, sunscreen, sweat? You bet. Red wine, ink, eggs? Every time. I now know what to do first, second and third to treat and remove a stain, and if I’m going to need extras like bleach or special detergents (or Goo Gone in the case of nasty sticker stains) to finish the job or if I might have to rinse/repeat before drying and making the stain permanent. You have this power now too, because the MyStain app is 100% free and available to all, even the mess-making kids themselves.

Clorox MyStain App Screenshot Instructions

I showed and talked about the MyStain app to Mouse and Bear and they both hit up the Google Play Store straightaway to put it on their phones. Seriously. They think the puns and sly humor are hilarious (they are right), so maybe this is how I slowly turn my daughters into dialed down versions of me, kind of a more hi-tech magic trick than the one my mom used on me decades prior. Clorox MyStain is a brilliantly conceived and designed smartphone app giving us parents quick, easy to read and subversively funny instructions in simple to follow steps on an immaculately designed interface. Your daughter’s dress, your wife’s jeans and your rad new shirt will be treated, cleaned and as-good-as-new, lickity-split, so you can get back to life full stop.

I’ll never be the owner of white glove clean home like my mom, but I’ve got a secret weapon on my phone that gets me out of any sticky stain situation.

Aaaaand I almost got excited about having something in my skill set that she doesn’t, but I remember now that she reads everything I write and that I gave her her first smartphone last year. So no doubt, she’s already downloaded the app for herself. Because she’s smart, just like her son.

Go get the free Clorox MyStain app today, from the iTunes App Store or Google Play Store for Android devices, and go to town on the Cuban sandwich, that chocolate fondue, and the house special fried rice.

*I’ve partnered with Clorox to tell this stain-filled story and have been compensated but the messy scenarios above are 100% true life and all opinions expressed above are unbiased.

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