Big Guy Car Guy

Big Guy Car Guy: The Pontiac Solstice And My First Mid-Life Crisis

2006 pontiac solstice and the mid life crisis I'm not having over a car

I’ve been assured by my pal Stirling Matheson who covers all matter of RIDES for Complex Magazine that I am not having an early-onset of an automotive-induced midlife crisis. In fact, he claims that there are no midlife crisis cars, only cars that are cool. Plain and simple. Sounds alright by me, because the other day I was considering the Pontiac Solstice and my first mid-life crisis as I spotted for the first time ever a white cloth-top Solstice across a crowded intersection and somewhere, a cellist played softly and for an instant, the sky above became warmly lit like Cybill Shepherd’s otherwise pasty white face in Moonlighting.

Cybill Shepherd Moonlighting

While I waited for the light to turn green, and for a few beats after it already had, I saw myself nestled into the Solstice, beneath a cloth top the color of IKEA chip wood, accelerating through and hugging tightly all kinds of angled corners, blasting Jukebox the Ghost’s dramatic piano pop, hair blowing with the window rolled down, my deeply olive-toned left arm resting comfortably on the door.

What in the hell was happening to me?

Quick research tells me the Solstice is no more, and that Pontiac itself is automotive history, but that 2006 up there, with it’s ‘rolled-down’ front, cartoon smile grill, and smooth curves looks all kinds of modern and classic at the same time, the kind of car destined to be eternally cool.

Someday, maybe I’ll find myself on or similar, looking for a decades-old, still in decent shape Pontiac Solstice for my first most-certainly-NOT-midlife-crisis ride.

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