Parenting Blog

4th Grade Tackles Addiction

I knew that someday soon my oldest daughter would start to be presented with real life dangers in a constructive way to help her navigate through potential pitfalls and hazards on the path toward becoming a happy and productive adult. But I didn’t anticipate this.

4th Grade. Day 8. Addiction. Tackled.

Below is a bit of the song that was sung back to us at the dinner table last week. It was everything I had not to fall over hysterical. Which makes me think that sometimes good parenting is defined simply as not busting a gut laughing in your child’s face. With that benchmark in mind, I am the greatest parent in all the land, because this. song. is. ab. surd.

C-O-F-F-E-E / Coffee is not for me
Chained to a cup / People cannot stop

That’s right. In white suburban, non-Amish country, the biggest threat to our 9 and 10 year old children appears to be a steaming hot pot of Folgers.

Here are a few other verses I’ve written to further keep the children of America safe from possible harm in and out of school this year. It is literally the least I can do.

G-L-U-E / Not for me / Not for you
Do not Sniff / Do not Eat / Do not stick it to your seat


Shoe Laces / Keep them tied
Or you may just trip / And the end is nigh


Pencil Points / So sharp they can be
If running with them facing out / They could hurt you and me

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