Death and kidnapping; those are the biggies. And they each deserve whatever fear you allocate them. What I’m afraid of more day-to-day, and especially around this time of year, is the loss of innocence in my children and, more specifically, the moment they stop believing in Santa Claus.
The ripe jolly old elf lie tradition is near and dear to me. I cannot will not imagine the day when it’s gone from my life. By my count, I’ve got a minimum of 3 more years to play St. Nick for my oldest. And I’m fully prepared to pull out all the stops to keep it going for as long as possible beyond that.
I have one positively marvelous tip to help perpetuate the Christmas fantasy and I’m about to share it with you.
[drum roll please]
The best way to prove to your kids that Santa is in fact real and is not just you with a shiny new credit card is:
Have Santa deliver gifts you hate.
Yes, you read that correctly – have Santa Claus leave your least favorite kid-thing under the tree for your children.
My own case in point: Christmas 2010 & Play-doh.
There isn’t anything I hate more in my house than Play-doh (Disney Princesses aside, naturally). If I was a post office, there’d be a picture of the popular molding clay on my wall. Play-doh is enemy #1. I hate they way it smells when I finally pry the damn cap off, the way that smell lingers on my fingertips for days, the way the tiny rabbit-turd-sized pieces embed themselves into the fabric of my carpet, and the flimsy plastic Play-doh accessories; all of it. So why then did I buy two new Play-doh “cooking” sets – one for each girl – wrap them up in Santa’s paper and have them glistening with sparkly red ribbon under the tree on Christmas morning?
Two reasons: because if Santa brought Play-doh there is no way Daddy is Santa and 2) because I wanted so badly to play act being pissed off at Mr. Claus. I huffed around saying “C’mon, Santa!” and “the Elves are killing me!”. The girls found this devilishly funny and at the same time had their belief in Santa, Rudolph, and the rest of the North Pole lot reaffirmed. All for about $16 worth of that shit.
I provide the Amazon Play-doh link below not because I want you to spend your money on it, but as a courtesy in case you, like me, hate Play-doh enough to buy it for your kids this Christmas.
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