Parenting Blog

The September Self Reveal: Five Things You Don’t Know About Me * Updated 9/30

Over the course of this week I will slowly unveil, as methodically as a serial killer, five things you do not know about me.  Many of these tidbits are, in fact, not known by anyone – not even the Mrs.

This could go very badly.

Simply refresh this very post at 10pm each evening starting tonight for a brand new insight into yours truly that you didn’t ask for.  Remember that you cannot unknow what you will know.  This is important to note for both you and for me.

Wanna get a nugget of truth off of your chest?  Leave a comment here telling the world something about yourself.  It’s the September Self Reveal (I think I just coined that one! and even made a spiffy little logo for it over there —>).

It’s on…

  1. I pride myself on my efficiency in thought and action.  I trace this personality trait all the way back to my childhood where, as a boy of 11 or 12, I’d steal shit with the sole intention of lighting my loot on fire.  I remember clearly one occasion where I snagged a five-finger discount on a deck of playing cards and a bottle of hairspray which I promptly turned into a blazing house of cards behind a dumpster.  Yep, I passed through my klepto and pyromaniac phases simultaneously. How very efficient of me.
  2. I swear by pH balanced, invisible solid, unscented Secret Deodorant.  I am woman, hear me roar, smell my pits.
  3. Using the tiny scissors included in our nail clipper set I remove chunks of hardened, dead skin from my right heel then proceed to chew on it like beef jerky, although never in mixed company or with the children around.  Same goes for the nails of my fingers and toes.  And yes, I rearranged that sentence to score the rhyme.
  4. I’ve never smoked a cigarette nor have I ever even laid eyes on an illegal drug, and I have taken only 3 sips of alcohol (it was beer) in my life.  But I no longer ‘X up’ when I go to rock shows.
  5. I sleep in just a t-shirt and underwear, with the shirt tucked in.  You cannot un-know this.
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