Condoms suck. Birth control pills suck. What sucks more? If you guessed hookers, you’re both correct and funny. Give yourself 10 OWTK points. But I was looking for ‘being outnumbered by your children’. That sucks. I’m petrified, absolutely PETRIFIED (CAPS LOCK WARRANTED) at the notion of having 3+ children. I’d have to hit up Craigslist and introduce a third parent into our equation to level things out but I’m fairly certain that’s not legal in our state.
As it stands we’ve got a pair of healthy, smart, and happy kids. I’m not interested in getting greedy and going for a trio. The Mrs. doesn’t concur 100% of the time with my adamant stance (this one or others), but it takes two to tango and I’m not going anywhere near that dancefloor. I’ve granted her permission to produce her 3rd child with another dude, but so far she hasn’t cashed in that ticket.
After all, if The Black Keys and the Sugar Free Allstars have taught us anything it’s that sometimes you just don’t need a bass player. A duo can rock awesome.
So here’s my issue:
- an ill-placed needle
- 20 minutes of discomfort
- and a weekend watching football with a bag of frozen veggies (organic, of course) on my package.
That, plus no more than a grand out-of-pocket (but really, why doesn’t health insurance cover this relatively affordable procedure completely? Is it not in their best corporate, bottom-line interests to prevent additional expensive pregnancies and 18 more years of ear infections and sick visits on their dime?), doesn’t sound like a huge price to pay for a lifetime of worry-free lovin’ and a household that will never expand. Why then am I being such a sissy about having a vasectomy?
I just read a candid article on the snip, snip subject in the current issue of Redbook (yeah, what of it?!) and I think I’m gonna do it (the vasectomy that is). It’s times like this that I wish I drank copious amounts of alcohol. Or any alcohol.
The sweet corn is cold and at the ready.
Oh shit why did I just Google Image search vasectomy.
Updates as warranted.
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