Longing for the nights where we only got up once

Never thought I would be nostalgic for the evenings where we had to get up at 2am with our daughter but we may be there. The past two nights have been horrific – prolonging maniacal screaming, voilent trashing of the legs and feet, and all around unpleasantness have filled our weekend thus far. Unfortunately, these symptoms (of what ailment we have not a clue) are not limited to the middle of the night. She has been a miserable grump for much of the past two days.

My domestic bliss has been shattered and I am searching for serenity anywhere I can find it. I am up super early today to write, think, and sit around in silence.

I am not helping matters at all. My patience, never a strong suit anyway, seems to be even thinner recently. I am getting upset with her for being upset herself and not being able to discuss what is bothering her. My behavior is leading bad situations down an even worse path. I am searching for a sort of “happy place”. An internal haven I can visit when she has a massive breakdown. Clearly, when it comes to these types of issues – I am a parent that is still growing and learning. I’d like to think that is a sign of a good parent, to recognize shortcomings and be willing and eager to improve.

I have also been spoiled with a daughter who, most days, seems far beyond her 2.5 years. At times, it is hard to remember that she is still just a toddler – now is one of those times!

Today’s Baby Loves Disco event is in serious doubt for us. I am not comfortable subjecting the general public to my little terror ball. If we do get out the door today, we will be hitting the new Franklin Square park in Philly first. This beautiful city playground is located at 7th and Arch and features a carrousel, huge fountain, and a healthy dose of play equipment.


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